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In these articles we share insights and tools for an authentic life. Free from shame or guilt and where you can be who you really are.


Interview With Founder René Luisman

4 min read              written by: BrainzMagazine

René Luisman is a Dutch life coach and the founder of Gay Men Coaching. With this platform, he offers gay men tools to lead an authentic life. René's work has been recognized by the Dutch Association for Trainers, and they awarded him, Trainer of the Year, in 2018. The interview was published in BrainzMagazine.


We Must Stop Eating Our Own

4 min read              written by: Michael Federic Donatich 

Queer men can be really hard on one another. In our search for belonging, we judge and reject one another, and when you look at our shared histories, it’s not hard to see why. Like RuPaul said, we must stop eating our own.


Feeling Different By Looking And Doing Differently

3 min read              written by: René Luisman

I was about ten years old when I first realized that I was ashamed of myself. In my eyes there was so much wrong with me. The discomfort I felt in the presence of others made me want to be invisible. 


Intimacy And Dating Apps - Do They Go Together?

3 min read              written by: René Luisman

Is a dating app also the place to be if you're looking for intimacy? A good conversation, a hug or someone you feel supported by. It is a quarter to nine on Wednesday morning. I'm putting it to the test.


Why Am I So Often Angry and-or Depressed?

5 min read              written by: Michael Federic Donatich 

Growing up as a gay boy is not easy. Dealing with emotional issues as an adult is not easy. The complex answers to where our anger and depression come from are often nuanced, subtle, and often dismissed by heteronormative society.


What If External Validation Is Controlling Your Life?

5 min read              written by: René Luisman

To be seen and heard is a basic human need. But what if you rely heavily on external validation? The confirmation and acknowledgment from the other that you matter. But external validation never fully compensates for what is missing deep in the core. These three steps help you to work on self-validation.


How To Deal With Internalized Homophobia?

3 min read              written by: René Luisman

When you are ashamed of your own homosexuality, we call it internalized homophobia. The belief that being non-heterosexual is somehow wrong, bad, dirty, or not normal. In this article I explain how internalized homophobia arises, how to recognize it and what to do about it.


Finding Comfort In Anonymity

5 min read              written by: Michael Federic Donatich 

Sometimes it's easy to talk with strangers, but difficult to share feelings and emotions with people close to you. Have you ever hunt for intimacy through the jungles of anonymous hookups and faceless internet correspondences?


Shame As Breeding Ground For Loneliness

4 min read              written by: René Luisman

Much of our shame is caused by what others expect of us. About whom we are, what we look like, what we have achieved and also what our sexual preferences are. The bigger the distance between who you are and who you want to be, the harder you have to work to meet your ideal self. What can you do about this?


Overcome An Inner Script 'I'm Not Enough'

7 min read              written by: René Luisman

Often my clients approach me when they realize that old patterns no longer work. The script that once used to help you understand the world around you, now hinders you in your relationship with yourself and others. How do you recognize and change your own script?


How Pride Helps To Heal From Shame And Guilt

6 min read              written by: René Luisman

In the acceptance of freedom and diversity, the discussion usually revolves around acceptance in society. Less attention is paid to the inner struggle for self-acceptance that every LGBTI person has to deal with. What is the impact if you do not meet the social norm of gender or sexuality?

Gay Men Coaching is an initiative of René Luisman Training & Coaching. I am affiliated with the Dutch Association of Professional Trainers (NOBTRA) and the Gay Coaches Alliance.


© 2022 René Luisman Training & Coaching